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Nurture the Nature: Understanding and Supporting Your Child's Unique Core Personality


Nurture the Nature:
Understanding and Supporting Your Child's Unique Core Personality

(Jossey-Bass, April, 2007)
 
by

Michael Gurian

To Order



CURRENT TRENDS IN PARENTING ARE HARMING AMERICA’S CHILDREN, SAYS BESTSELLING AUTHOR

Children who are always on the go.  Tests and competitions to get youngsters into the “best” schools.  Social criteria that dictate how a child should behave, play, and act at specific ages, even if their brain development is different than the trend.  These are all symptoms of “social trends parenting,” says family therapist and educator Michael Gurian in his new book NURTURE THE NATURE: Understanding and Supporting Your Child’s Unique Core Personality.

Gurian coined the phrase “social trends parenting” to refer to our current media-saturated system of raising kids that focuses on constantly changing social fads, experts, and infotainments, instead of a child’s unique and individual nature.  Some of the social trends that blindside parents are extensive television and computer use; the anxiety many parents feel about not doing enough for their children; and the negative impact that over-scheduling can have on children of all ages.

In NURTURE THE NATURE, Gurian argues that children are not blank slates to be shaped as we wish.  Rather, each is born with a unique core nature--specific needs, strengths, vulnerabilities, and learning style--that cannot be adequately supported with a one-size-fits all approach.  “Social trends parenting does not focus on who our children are,” says Gurian, “and it works against the core nature of the individual child, causing children and families to suffer unnecessary anxiety and chronic stress.”

Drawing on twenty-five years of academic research and clinical field study, The Gurian Institute’s work with hundreds of school districts and thousands of parents nationwide, as well as the latest research in brain science in child and adolescent development, Gurian provides readers with the tools they need to uncover their child’s core nature – who their child really is – so each child can flourish and thrive.  He explains, for example, that a toddler’s temper tantrum is an internal process that is necessary for emotional growth – parts of the brain literally swell and it’s hard to calm down without the significant outburst of adrenaline that we know as a tantrum.  Depending on their core nature, some toddlers are innately better at exploiting their parents through the use of tantrums than others.  Gurian advises parents whose toddler routinely throws severe tantrums to let the child have the tantrum – even leave the room if the environment is safe and appropriate – and pre-determine an amount of time before stepping in.

For each stage of development, Gurian describes what parents should be aware of when relating to their children as they grow.  For example, he notes that four to six year-olds become naturally attracted to “things”, and explains how parents can protect their children from the dangers of materialism.  He also includes solutions from real-life parents, such as Hannah, a mother of three in Houston, who had her children give away a toy every time they got a new toy, starting when they were four years old.  For parents of adolescents, it’s crucial that they help their children learn full coping skills for crises and setbacks.  Here, Gurian tells the story of Breva, a thirteen year-old hospitalized for anorexia, but who, with the support of her family, was able to get the help she needed, and find her purpose in life. “This family made meaning and mission out of crisis – supporting an individuating core nature, supporting maturity,” says Gurian.

Gurian also tackles such issues as the natural differences between boys and girls, and the profound impact diet and sleep have on a child’s moods and relationships.  When it comes to how much media – including television, movies, videogames, computer time, and iPod use – is appropriate for developing young minds, Gurian recommends parents to be aware of particular signals that indicate their child’s relationships are being stifled.  “A sedentary life in front of the screen cuts off a child from other relationships with parents, extended family, faith communities, healthy peers, and many others who are the brain’s real food of life,” says Gurian.  However, he also warns that screen time is not evil.  “To overreact to it would be to grab onto yet another social trend – this one saying, ‘media is bad.’ ”

Ultimately, Michael Gurian’s nurture-the-nature system is not just one technique or science:  It is a worldview that recognizes that children do not have to fit a certain mold to be successful.  Powerful and insightful, NURTURE THE NATURE is a revolutionary parenting guide for people who want to understand and support each of their children’s core natures.



Nurturing the Nature book reviews Reviews of the Book:

"In NURTURE THE NATURE, Michael Gurian presents an in-depth, chapter-by-chapter analysis of child development, beginning at infancy and ending in early adulthood. Gurian's presentation is comprehensive and peppered with fascinating facts. The author's new text will help parents begin, in the tradition of Maria Montessori, to "follow the child," rather than adapt their kids to a contemporary one-size-fits-all mold."
— Publisher's Weekly, May 2007

Boys and girls learn differently

"Nurture the Nature is thorough, thoughtful, accurate, and brilliant. The science is sound and well researched."

Daniel Amen, M.D., author, Making a Good Brain Great


Boys and girls learn differently


"Michael Gurian has once again produced a magnificent book on children, this one showing us how to appreciate and indeed capitalize on the unique nature within each child. Nurture the Nature should be mandatory reading for parents who want their children to mature into happy healthy human beings which is of course all of us!"

Dr. Tracey J. Shors, department of psychology, Center for Collaborative Neuroscience, Rutgers University

Boys and girls learn differently

"Nurture the Nature is up-to-the-minute, filled with wisdom, and an intensely moral book, concerned with helping a child develop a sense of purpose in life, and promoting self-reliance and self-discipline in children.  Both as a mother and a psychologist, I could not put this book down!"

Judith Kleinfeld, professor of psychology, University of Alaska, and national director of The Boys Project

Boys and girls learn differently

"As a parent myself, I believe one of the greatest challenges to parenting well is to see who your individual child really is.  Nurture the Nature gives parents the ability to do just that--and to understand the complex issues that shape our children today."
Rosalind Wiseman, author of QUEEN BEES AND WANNABES

Boys and girls learn differently

"A wealth of practical advice on how to escape the competitive pressure of social trends parenting and instead nurture the core nature of your child."

Michele Borba, Ed.D., author, 12 Simple Secrets Real Moms Know and Building Moral Intelligence





The Minds of Boys:
Saving Our Sons from Falling behind in School and Life


by Michael Gurian and Kathy Stevens

(September, 2005)


The book by Michael Gurian - The Minds of Boys
 

   Michael Gurian, author of THE WONDER OF BOYS, and Gurian Institute executive director Kathy Stevens have written a revolutionary new book which confronts what many parents and teachers believe to be a "boy's crisis."  Boys receive up to 70% of the Ds and Fs given all students, they create 90% classroom discipline problems, 80% all high school dropouts are boys, millions of American boys are on Ritalin and other mind-bending control drugs, only 45% college students are boys, and three out of four learning disabled students are boys!
    Gurian and Stevens empower parents and teachers by presenting a whole new way of working with boys based on the success of Gurian Institute programs in schools across the country, and the latest research and application of neuro-biological research on how boys' brains actually work, how they are different from girls, and how they can learn very well if they're properly taught.
     THE MINDS OF BOYS includes ways for every parent to understand and influence how their own boy is doing in terms of the correct learning environment, how boys are motivated, how to use the arts and athletics to teach boys (whether or not they are sensitive boys, aggressive boys, restless or bored boys), the potential options for separate sex education at crucial periods of a boy's life, and how to best utilize the essential role of the parent, teacher, and community. This cutting- edge method has begun to change educational culture throughout the US, Canada, England and Australia, with educators in Alabama, British Columbia, Colorado, California, Missouri, Oregon, North Carolina, Wisconsin, Minnesota, Florida, Washington, New York, and Texas, all reporting excellent results.

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The ideas in THE MINDS OF BOYS seem to be catching on.  The Gurian Institute has trained more than 15,000 teachers.

Newsweek, September 19, 2005

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In THE MINDS OF BOYS, Michael Gurian and Kathy Stevens target their advice to both parents and teachers, and stress practical information, from nutritional guidelines to recommended classroom layouts.

Education Week, September 7, 2005

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"Parents perplexed by their bright sons who constantly struggle in school will find hope in The Minds of Boys."

                   Soledad O'Brien, USA Weekend and CNN

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In The Minds of Boys, Gurian and Stevens use biological research and more than 20 years of classroom experience to
present a detailed plan of how to most effectively teach boys.

 
NEA Today, November 2005 (National Education Association)

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Parents of boys have always known it in their hearts. Boys learn differently from girls. Michael Gurian not only knows it and can prove it, but has ideas about how to help boys succeed.  His THE MINDS OF BOYS, written with Kathy Stevens, shows how to help boys in the classroom and at home.
 
Nancy Churnin, Dallas Morning News

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"The Minds of Boys provides a valuable service not only to parents and teachers but also policy makers.  Boys today are  languishing academically. Gurian and Stevens provide important analysis and practical solutions."
 
  Chistina Hoff Sommers, Author of THE WAR AGAINST BOYS

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The "Mind of Boys" is an excellent read.  I found it enlightening not only as a neuroscientist but also as the mother of a young boy.  It has absolutely changed the way that I think about boys (and men) and the ways in which they express their enthusiasm for life.  


 
Tracey J. Shors, Ph.D.
Department of Psychology
Center for Collaborative Neuroscience
Rutgers University


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"The Mind of Boys is a gift to parents, teachers and anyone else involved in raising or nurturing boys.  It is filled with cutting edge neuroscience, yet has the warmth of a wise professional."

— Daniel Amen, MD, Author of Making A Good Brain Great
 


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The Minds of Boys is a wonderfully practical and enjoyable book to read. I thoroughly enjoyed its insights, data and practical strategies.  It will help empower parents to demand social justice for boys in school.

       
Stephen J. Bavolek, Ph.D., Founder, The Nurturing Parenting Program

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I am a member of the Winston-Salem/Forsyth County NC Board of Education.  I just completed your book The Minds of Boys, and have found it very interesting and applicable to what we are facing in our district.  I have asked our Superintendent to purchase your book for every board member and member of his senior leadership team.  I hope that in reading the book, our school leaders will feel as I do that we need to implement many of the strategies you recommend.  Thanks for writing such a good book and inspiring me to push this issue to the forefront in our district.

Buddy Collins, Esq.
Winston-Salem Board of Education

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In The Minds of Boys, a follow-up to his best-selling The Wonder of Boys, therapist and social philosopher Michael Gurian, along with Kathy Stevens, a specialist in education and child development, makes a strong case for an educational crisis involving boys. (The Minds of Boys) is logically organized, readable, and meticulously documented.
 
 
Library Journal

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In The Minds of Boys, Michael Gurian and Kathy Stevens provide a very readable description of the current academic dilemma affecting a large
number of boys. 

 
Sandra F. Witelson
Albert Einstein/Irving Zucker Chair in Neuroscience
McMaster University

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THE MINDS OF BOYS is a compassionate and well-considered exploration of the educational crisis many of our boys face.  It provides a giant leap in our empathy for what it means to be a boy in our culture.  For parents and teachers especially, this book helps them provide boys support through their developmental stages.  I regret that I did not have this book in hand while raising my son 

Pat Crum, Director/Co-Founder of the Family Nurturing Center of Michigan.

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"THE MINDS OF BOYS is a must read for educators from preschool through young adulthood, and any parent or grandparent who is raising a boy.  This book is well researched, offering concrete ways to help our boys develop and flourish in and out of school."

Dr. Paul D. Slocumb, Author of Hear Our Cry: Boys in Crisis

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"Reading THE MINDS OF BOYS is a great act of love you can do for your son."

    
Scott Haltzman, M.D., Psychiatrist, Rhode Island

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Wonderfully readable, The Minds Of Boys fills a great void for parents and educators by offering practical ways to change the developmental course for boys at risk. Gurian and Stevens show us that we don't have to surrender our boys to depression or school failure:  an essential piece of school reform!


Robin Karr-Morse, Author of Ghosts From The Nursery

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"THE MINDS OF BOYS provides invaluable information for parents and educators to help
 them improve boys' academic and social success."

    
Mike Merrifield, Colorado House of Representatives, Chair of the Education Committee


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Boys and Girls Learn Differently:
A Guide For Teachers and Parents


By
Michael Gurian
with Patricia Henley and Terry Trueman
(Jossey-Bass, Publishers)

     Teachers and parents alike have long intuited that boys and girls learn differently. In this book, renowned educator and bestselling author Michael Gurian provides the brain-based research to prove it, and shows the reader how to improve a child's education by knowing the very nature of his or her mind.
     In Part 1, combining the fields of neurobiology, anthropology, educational psychology and sociology, Gurian shows the reader how the growing child's brain works, how girls' and boys' brains work differently, how hormones affect these differences, and how acculturation influences the biology. Because Gurian's research stretches to all continents, readers will be intrigued to discover how worldwide are the gender learning differences in the brain, and in homes and classrooms. Part I also looks at areas of learning difficulty boys and girls suffer as distinct groups.
     Part 2 provides solutions and applications. Gurian features innovations from around the world, but focuses especially on innovations developed by teachers in six school districts in Kansas City, Missouri, in which the Gurian Institute trained staff to help boys and girls learn differently.
     Learning improvement in these school districts was marked, and their innovations fascinating. By the end of BOYS AND GIRLS LEARN DIFFERENTLY!, teachers, parents and others have a brain-based understanding of the child they are educating, and know how to apply what they know to distinct improvements in not only a child's general education, but also in areas of difficulty related to being a boy and being a girl.



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"BOYS AND GIRLS LEARN DIFFERENTLY! offers valuable and much needed tools
to provide boys and girls with true equal educational opportunity."

   — John Gray, Ph.D., author of Men Are From Mars,
Women Are From Venus.

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"Most Americans are intensely concerned about the state of our educational
system...BOYS AND GIRLS LEARN DIFFERENTLY!
will be picked up parents eager to learn more."

  — Publishers Weekly, March 2001

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"The insights and innovations in BOYS AND GIRLS LEARN DIFFERENTLY! have been applied in our classrooms with phenomenal success, leading to better academic
performance and better behavior."

—Dan Colgan, Ph.D., superintendent of schools, St. Joseph, Missouri

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     “From the beginning of time, parents and sensitive teachers have observed differences in the behavior, learning style, and focused interests of girls and boys. Defying the political correctness that is today's common wisdom, Gurian and the contributing authors draw on emerging neuroscientific data to justify these perceptions. While never allowing us to lose sight of the reality of individual differences, they suggest creative ways to modify the learning environment to encourage a broader spectrum of achievement in both gender groups.”

—Edward Zigler, Ph.D, Sterling Professor of Psychology,
 department of Psychology, Yale University



What Could He Be Thinking?
How a Man's Mind Really Works
Paperback
(September, 2004)


 


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What could he be thinking


Gurian's book {WHAT COULD HE BE THINKING?} explores the fascinating science of the difference in male and female brains and how differences dictate behavior. His hope is that, by illuminating the construction of each gender's amygdala, cingulate gyrus, hippocampus, et al., not to mention the action of our hormones, we can better negotiate the battle of the sexes.

Lily Burana, The Washington Post

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There is now scientific proof (about men) in a new book titled WHAT COULD HE BE THINKING?, which I cannot recommend highly enough.

Dave Barry, Columnist

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WHAT COULD HE BE THINKING? is filled with illuminating specific examples.

Seattle Post Intelligencer

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WHAT COULD HE BE THINKING? explains how the brain, conjunction with psychological and sociological factors, drives a man's behavior.  Gurian's research is both fascinating and eye opening.

Cleveland Plain Dealer

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While plenty of books offer to help us understand the opposite sex from a psychological perspective, this one tackles the topic from a neurological one. Family therapist Gurian (The Wonder of Boys) takes readers on a voyage through the male brain, offering "nature-based" explanations-that is, well-established biological tenets-for how men think and act differently from women (e.g., why they love to tinker with gadgets and why they remember fewer details about an event). In the process, readers discover almost as much about women and how their brains function...(WHAT COULD HE BE THINKING?) is recommended for all public libraries.

The Library Journal

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"Like a guide through a secret forest, WHAT COULD HE BE THINKING? leads the nonscientist through the complex world of brain science and relates it to some of the most frustrating sources of conflict between men and women in relationships."

Reuters News Service

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"In WHAT COULD HE BE THINKING?...Michael Gurian has completed some incredible and useful research.  Gurian has answered questions of vital importance."

  Chicago Tribune

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Best known for several earlier books, including "The Wonder of Boys" and "The Wonder of Girls" — in which he explored ho biological differences between the male and female brains influence childhood behavior — Michael Gurian has turned his attention to grown-ups, saying that understanding the inner workings of the male mind can help couples live in harmony.

The Los Angeles Times

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       Finally!  Figure out your husband!  Men are such a puzzle.  Are they serious when they say, "Don't worry so much, the kids are fine?"  Actually, yes, says Michael Gurian, a noted author and therapist, in his new book, WHAT COULD HE BE THINKING? (St. Martins Press).  Using research on male and female brains, he explains some perplexing behavior, like why men can remember last year's baseball stats but not yesterday's conversation, and more.
--Parenting Magazine, September 2003

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       "Just when I thought a man's way of thinking could never be fully understood, Michael Gurian comes to the rescue and offers exciting, new insights into the minds of the men we love.  Whether you are contemplating marriage, are already married, or just interested in figuring out men, What Could He Be Thinking? is the book for you."

--Ann F. Caron, Ed.D., author of Strong Mothers, Strong Sons

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       "What Could He Be Thinking? is an insightful, often funny, and easy to read book. It offers many insights into the male mind, which can be very helpful to women and men alike."

--Daniel Amen, M.D., author of Change Your Brain, Change Your Life

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       "What Could He Be Thinking? is a well-written, down-to-earth guide to men in an era of concern for women, and a guide to biology in an era focused on psychology.  Gurian gives us science's bottom line about how understanding the male brain can create better marriages and parenting.  If you have a father, son or husband you want to love more fully, start with What Could He Be Thinking?"

--Warren Farrell, Ph.D., author of Why Men Are The Way They Are and Women Can't Hear What Men Don't Say

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      With his bestsellers, The Wonder of Boys and The Wonder of Girls, therapist and social philosopher Michael Gurian presented a groundbreaking new approach to parenting.  Now, in his new book, WHAT COULD HE BE THINKING?: How a Man's Mind Really Works, Gurian presents a new vision of the male psyche.  Based on two decades of neurobiological research, his latest book explores who men are by nature and answers the questions women have long been asking about husbands, fathers, boyfriends, and co-workers.  The answers in WHAT COULD HE BE THINKING? come not from popular opinion or social trends, but from science. The new field of brain science helps us understand men in provocative and helpful ways, ways that change relationships and society for the better.

THE BRAIN SCIENCE

      In relationships between women and men, brain science is a goldmine of human understanding.  The male and female brain are formed in utero.  There are distinct genetic components of "male" and "female" that predate learned behavior as well.  So, while women and men are certainly formed by their upbringing, what makes them distinctly "women" or "men" is actually locked in the brain.  It is affected by our childhood nurturing, but it is not changed.  The new brain sciences allow us to tap into who we really are, in ways that empower and help.  They are a path toward true equality between women and men, and they hold the key to lasting relationships.
      In WHAT COULD HE BE THINKING? Michael Gurian focuses on what is happening inside the minds of men--their motivations, feelings, relationships, needs and point-of-view, mining brain science for its answers to such questions as:

· How is the male brain different than the female brain?
· How do men's hormones make their brains work differently than women's (and not just in areas of sexuality!)
· Why do men tend to remember different details and ideas than women do?
· Do men feel as much emotion as women do in their love-relationships?  If not, why not?
· Why don't men notice how much housework needs to be done?
· Why do fathers tend to bond differently with children than mothers?
· What strengths do male biology and the male mode of feeling bring to marriage?
· Why do women tend to find someone to talk to when they're stressed, while men tend to deal with stress without as many words and close relationships?
· What are the biological reasons for men's obsession with their work?
· How does a woman get a man to commit his whole self to her?
· Why do men feel like they have to keep such a grip on the TV remote control?

     WHAT COULD HE BE THINKING? points out not only the ways in which men are biologically and neurally set to act, but also suggests that there are untapped advantages to the male way of being, and to women's mastery of that way  In WHAT COULD HE BE THINKING?, Michael Gurian has made a profound statement about the role of men in modern culture, and suggests a way for men and women to thrive together in what he calls "intimate separateness."  The brain, he says, doesn't just seek more intimacy; it also seeks less intimacy at different times.  This book offers a new harmony through intimate separateness that can help men and women create stronger, happier relationships.



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The Wonder of Girls:
Understanding the Hidden Nature of Our Daughters

The Wonder of Girls

FROM THE BOOK JACKET:

    Michael Gurian, whose national bestseller The Wonder of Boys presented a radical and enlightening view of parenting sons, now offers a groundbreaking approach to raising daughters. In The Wonder of Girls, Gurian, himself the father of two girls, provides crucial information for fully understanding the basic nature of girls: up-to-date scientific research on female biology, hormones, and brain development and how they shape girls’ interests, behavior, and relationships.
     He also offers insight into a culture mired in competition between traditionalism and feminism and a new vision that provides for the equal status of girls and women yet acknowledges their nature as complex and distinct from men. He explains what is “normal” for girls each year from birth to age 20; what developmental needs girls face in each stage; how to communicate effectively with girls; and how to cope with developmental crises such as early sexuality, eating disorders, parental divorce, and more.
     With personal insights, practical tips, real-life anecdotes, and accessible science, The Wonder of Girls creates a new parenting paradigm. Key elements include:

· a nature-based approach to why girls are the way they are
· the connection between the need for profound attachment and the physical and brain development of girls
· support for a girl’s inherent need for intimacy
· tools to protect girls’ self-esteem and emotional life
· a new approach to girls’ character development and rites of passage.

     THE WONDER OF GIRLS is a revolutionary approach to raising girls that combines groundbreaking biological research with practical parenting advice.
     Bestselling author Michael Gurian debunks long-standing myths about girls and helps parents get to know their daughters from the inside (brain, hormones, physiological development) out. Understanding the developmental stages of basic female nature will help parents find the answers to common questions, such as:

· how can I provide the best discipline for my daughter without crushing her independence or self-esteem?
· how much backtalk should I allow from my daughter?
· how do I help my daughter get through my divorce?
· how can I help my daughter handle her own feelings and emotions on a daily basis?

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Praise for THE WONDER OF GIRLS:

     "Finally, a sensitive and scientifically knowledgeable writer has given us a book on girls. Gurian's engrossing book, THE WONDER OF GIRLS, is important not only for parents, but for anyone who cares for, educates, or makes policy affecting the lives of girls and women."

Christina Hoff Sommers, author of Who Stole Feminism?

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     "In THE WONDER OF GIRLS, Michael Gurian has given us a gift, an exciting book that parents of daughters will consult over and over again.  Gurian leads us in a new direction as he challenges parents to understand and value our daughters' desire for attachment.  Women will recognize themselves as well as their daughters in this thought-provoking book.  Bravo, Michael!"

Ann F. Caron, author of Don't Stop Loving Me

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     "I found the THE WONDER OF GIRLS a wonderful addition to the literature already available on raising girls. What I liked best was its constant correlation of developing biology in women to their psychological struggles, giving the authenticity that is sorely needed. Not only that, it gives parents and professionals alike a new framework to understand girls’ development from a multi-perspective. I also especially liked how it provided concrete ways that fathers and mothers could understand their daughters’ progress through different stages, and to understand that their lives are a progression along with brain development capacities. I heartily endorse this new balanced way to understand how wonderful the capacities of girls and women are, and so vital to the nurturing of their infants, families and society. Bravo!"

Deborah Sichel, M.D., author of Women's Moods :
What Every Woman Must Know About Hormones, the Brain, and Emotional Health

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    "In THE WONDER OF GIRLS, therapist Gurian probes the unique aspects of girls' emotional, social and physical development in a follow-up to his bestselling THE WONDER OF BOYS.  He urges parents to use a new model in raising girls (he calls it "Womanism") in which girls establish a three-family system (the nuclear family, the extended family and institutions such as church and school) that will meet their need for intimate relationships.  Gurian's arguments (will ) stir controversy and inspire thought."

Publisher's Weekly, December 2001

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Gurian's attention to the physiology of how girls develop is tapping into a growing field among researchers...The Wonder of Girls has won universal praise for Gurian's focus on the importance of maintaining personal connections with girls.

Chicago Sun Times

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"I was grateful to get to  the advice section of The Wonder of Girls, which categorizes girls by age...wonderfully useful advice....Gurian is at his best when it comes to the nuts and bolts of rearing a daughter."

The Los Angeles Times

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"In THE WONDER OF GIRLS, Michael Gurian has written an eminently sensible book."

The Daily Telegraph (London)

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(THE WONDER OF GIRLS) is explosive, bound to be controversial, a powder
keg...Gurian raises interesting questions."

USA TODAY

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"The WONDER OF GIRLS is...an excellent choice."

Library Journal

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"Michael Gurian shares intriguing insights in THE WONDER OF GIRLS."

Seattle Times
 




The Good Son


The Good Son : Shaping the Moral Development
of Our Boys and Young Men

Publisher: Tarcher/Putnam: New York, September 1999. (ISBN #: 0-87477-985-5) (Hard Cover) Publisher: Tarcher/Putnam: New York, August 3, 2000. (ISBN #: 1585420492) (Paperback) 

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Hard cover $17.47  Save 30%
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A Fine Young Man

A Fine Young Man: What Parents, Mentors And Educators Can Do
To Shape Adolescent Boys Into Exceptional Men

Publisher: Tarcher/Putnam: New York, June, 1998 $24.95
Publisher: Tarcher/Putnam: New York, June, 1998. (ISBN #: 0874779197) (Hard Cover)
Publisher: Tarcher/Putnam: New York, May, 1999. (ISBN #: 0874779693) (Paperback)
Order on-line through Amazon.com $19.96 Save 20%, (hardcover) or
Order on-line through Amazon.com $11.16 Save 20%, (paperback)
Phone order through Ally Press, Minneapolis (800) 729-3002 $24.95 or
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The Wonder of Boys:
What Parents, Mentors, and Educators Can Do to Shape Boys into Exceptional Men


The Wonder of Boys, a book by Michael Gurian


     Yes, boys and girls are different, says Washington state family therapist Gurian (Mothers, Sons and Lovers), urging that society learn how to deal creatively with gender-specific needs. In considering the cultural effects of heightened gender consciousness, Gurian warns of the dangers of "enmeshing male development with a female culture in transition." Outlining biological differences, he explains that boys are "hard-wired" to possess certain traits. Because of male brain chemistry and the hormone testosterone, boys are apt, for example, to relish risk-taking and to be physically aggressive and competitive (violence, he claims is not hard-wired, but learned through culture). What Gurian adds to this generally recognized background material is a persuasive summons to society, specifically parents, educators and communities, to unite to channel these traits in positive directions. Sports, for instance, allow competition but also teach responsibility. Work, nature study, music and spiritual pursuits are other positive channels. Gurian, who has also lived in Europe, Asia and the Middle East, suggests that we in the U.S. have grown away from beneficial rites of passage and toward "isolated, tremulous, family systems." In this shift, he contends, boys have been abandoned, and he urges that society reclaim responsibility for the moral and spiritual upbringing of young males, with guidance offered by elder mentors and support coming from extended family or community. Writing in a calm, compassionate voice, Gurian delivers a compelling call to action.


  From Publishers Weekly
(Copyright 1996 Reed Business Information, Inc.)





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"THE WONDER OF BOYS is a provocative book that electrifies the debate over how this nation raises sons."

USA TODAY

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"THE WONDER OF BOYS will help future generations open the lines of communication between men and women by giving us what we need to raise strong, responsible and sensitive men.

John Gray, author of MEN ARE FROM MARS, WOMEN ARE FROM VENUS.

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"What Mary Pipher has done to raise our national consciousness in her book REVIVING OPHELIA,
Michael Gurian has done in THE WONDER OF BOYS."

Betty B. Youngs, author of HOW TO DEVELOP SELF ESTEEM IN YOUR CHILD

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The Wonder of Boys: What Parents, Mentors & Educators
Can Do to Shape Boys Into Exceptional Men

Publisher: Tarcher/Putnam: New York, 1996 audio tape: Audio Partners
Order on-line through Amazon.com:
Hard cover $17.47 Save 30%
Paperback $11.16 Save 20%
Audio cassette $12.57 Save 30%
Phone order through Ally Press, Minneapolis (800) 729-3002.
Hard cover: $24.95,
Soft cover: $14.95.
Audio tape: The Wonder of Boys $17.95 Order through: Audio Partners (800) 231-4261.

(Runner UP, 1997 Audie Award)





Training DVDs


The Gurian Institute is proud to offer four training products (in DVD format), appropriate for ongoing use by institutions and trainers, as well as other interested audiences.  UNDERSTANDING THE MINDS OF BOYS AND GIRLS (filmed in 2005) and HELPING OUR BOYS AND GIRLS SUCCEED IN SCHOOL AND LIFE (also filmed in 2005) are sold for $325.00 each (includes S & H and performance rights).  RAISING AND EDUCATING BOYS and RAISING AND EDUCATING GIRLS (both filmed in 2002) are sold while supplies last for $200.00 each (includes S & H in the US and performance rights). 

 Please email for ordering information
on any of the products.








UNDERSTANDING THE MINDS OF BOYS AND GIRLS (2005)
Featuring Michael Gurian with Kathy Stevens

(1 Hour, 15 minutes)


Filmed at the Gurian Institute Summer Training at the University of Colorado-Colorado Springs, this DVD covers the newest research in how boys and girls learn differently.  The DVD highlights brain-based information.  It is at times humorous, at times touching, and as always in Gurian Institute work, combines theory with practice.


Some of the topics covered:

Ground-breaking ideas about how we raise & educate boys and girls today
Analysis of the industrial schooling system
Nature-based theory and brain-based research
How the gender of the brain is set in the womb, then socialized by culture
How technologies like PET scans show us pictures of male/female difference in the brain
Learning style differences between boys and girls
The role of hormones and brain chemistry in girls and boys behavior, learning and growth
Differences in male and female modes of emotive processing
Analysis of bridge brain girls and boys

Order your training DVDs here.




HELPING BOYS AND GIRLS SUCCEED IN SCHOOL AND LIFE (2005)
Featuring Michael Gurian with Kathy Stevens

(1 hour, 5 minutes)

Filmed at the Gurian Institute Summer Training at the University of Colorado-Colorado Springs, this DVD provides analysis and examples of what can be done in classrooms, homes and the society to best manage, teach and nurture the minds of girls and boys.  The DVD includes a powerful and often quite entertaining emphasis on practical strategies.

Some of the topics covered:

What boys and girls need from parents and teachers as they develop through childhood and adolescence
Social misconceptions about boys
Social misconceptions about girls
Practical strategies for educating girls
Practical strategies for educating boys
Aggression nurturance among boys and relational aggression among girls
Emotional and moral development needs of boys and girls
Analysis of trends in ADD/ADHD, Depression, anorexia, bulimia and other disorders
Helping Boys and girls who are bridge brains

Order your training DVDs here.




RAISING AND EDUCATING BOYS
(1 Hour)

This is the first full hour training DVD by Michael Gurian on the subject of raising and educating boys.  It was filmed in 2002, at the Gurian Institute Summer Training in Colorado Springs.  It features conclusions and practical strategies garnered from twenty years of research in male development.  Referenced books include THE WONDER OF BOYS and BOYS AND GIRLS LEARN DIFFERENTLY!


Order your training DVDs here.



RAISING AND EDUCATING GIRLS


This is the first full hour training DVD by Michael Gurian on the subject of raising and educating girls. Twenty years of research in female development, featured in such books as THE WONDER OF GIRLS and BOYS AND GIRLS LEARN DIFFERENTLY!, came to the DVD format in this exciting and practical lecture, recorded at the Gurian Institute Summer Training (2002) in Colorado Springs.


Order your training DVDs here.



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